Turn Your Words Into Gold
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We know that our words can have a tremendous impact on our children. When we speak to our children we need to do so in ways that are positive, respectful and helpful. The words that we choose to use also have an impact on how our children will respond. The following chart provides examples of statements that are not enforceable and also statements that are enforceable yet respectful.

Unenforceable Statement Enforceable Statement
Please sit down. We're going to eat now. You may eat as soon as you're seated.
Please be quiet, I can't listen to your brother when you are both talking at the same time.
I'll be glad to listen to you as soon as your brother has finished talking to me.
Clean your room so we can go shopping. I'll be happy to take you shopping as soon as your room is clean.
You can't go play until you have finished your homework. Feel free to go play as soon as you have finished your homework.
Don't shout at me. I listen to people who do not yell at me.
Pay attention. I'll start again as soon as I know you are listening to me.
Do your chores or you will be grounded. I'll be happy to let you go with your friends as soon as your chores are finished.
Don't talk to me in that tone of voice. I'll listen as soon as your voice is as calm as mine.
You show some respect. I'll be glad to discuss this when respect is shown.
Don't be last coming home from school. I'll drive those to practice who arrive on time.
I'm not picking up your dirty clothes. I'll be glad to wash the clothes that are put in the laundry room.
Keep your room tidy. All owners of tidy rooms are welcome to join for ice cream.
You're not going out without your coat. You may go out as soon as you have your coat.
Don't come back to the room until you can show some respect! Feel free to come back to the room as soon as you can be respectful!
Stop arguing with me! I'll be glad to discuss this with you as soon as the arguing stops.
If you forget your lunch, you'll just have to go hungry. I'm sorry you forgot your lunch. I bet you'll be ready for dinner tonight.


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